So I’m not one to complain but I can’t keep quiet on this. I have been pretty healthy my whole life but lately I’ve been dealing with an illness. It is very rare to get it at my age but I am dealing with Shingles for the second time. Being healthy and 32 years baffles every Dr. I have seen. For some clarity on Shingles it is the same virus that causes Chicken Pox. Its rare to get Shingles and is most likely to show up in people with low immunity or who are elderly. Unlike Chicken Pox it is localized to one place on one side of your body. Symptoms are pretty effing gnarly, first it feels like a deep pain inside. For me, the first time I got Shingles 2 years ago, it felt like I had torn a muscle/joint behind my knee. I even went to the Dr. early on, to make sure I didn’t have a torn muscle. Of course I didn’t have anything torn and went home discouraged. My skin then began to feel raw/sunburned in the same area as my pain and it wrapped around the front of my leg on the inside. Soon I started to get random clusters of blisters. They would then pop and weep/ooze. (sorry TMI, but I really want you to get an idea of what I am dealing with) The pain is intense! Air hitting the lesions would cause me to shiver with chills due to the stinging. I also still had the feeling of a torn muscle. I had to walk with a cane to get around. Here is a link to a great explanation of Shingles on WebMD.
I finally went into insta-care when it just wouldn’t die down. The Dr. took one look and knew I had Shingles. I had come in to get checked very late in the game, so the chance of permanent nerve damage was high. Whats crazy about Shingles is that it lays dormant in everyones spinal cord and is released through the nerves. Sadly I did get permanent nerve damage, which meant I have chronic pain in my leg/knee. It comes as either a feeling of a torn muscle or a sunburn. The craziest sensations I still get is the feeling of water running down my leg. To be honest I kept thinking I peed my pants. If you’re a mom you know that isn’t too uncommon. I have peed myself more times than I like to admit, including every time I jump at all. Nerve pain or Postherpetic Neuropathy is a bitch and hard to deal with. Luckily there are some medications that are not narcotics that help with the pain. My leg now has good days and bad.
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Fast forward 2 years and here I am, shingles again! Still no explanation as to why someone like me is getting it, let a lone for the second time. This time i got the “Shitty Shingles” in a different place. Still on my right side but on my head/scalp. This virus is such a bitch. I wish I could punch it in the freaking face! Cause I sure feel like it is punching me in the face! It started as what I thought to be an Optical Migraine that extended to my temple. If you have ever had a migraine before you can feel my pain. Light, Sound, Touch, Children, You name it!, all of it affected my pain. This migraine lasted for 2 days before I went to the Dr. I thought I needed migraine meds but during my exam he realized my skin was sensitive to the touch and there was a blister on my scalp. I won the Jack Pot! Shingles again! I am happy to say I caught it early. I started an anti-viral early and it started working pretty fast. But the pain plateaued after a couple days. that is where you find me now.
I still get migraines everyday, I had to skipped out early on my best friends birthday cause the pain was unbearable, I missed out on family dinners, and hanging out with my kids, I also kept my son home from school cause I couldn’t drive him. Needless to say I feel like an old woman who can barely do anything. My hubby is super understanding but I know it is hard on him and the kids. It is hard to not be who I want to be for my family. I have the hope that in a few days this “Shitty Shingles” will have run it’s course and leave for good. Well sorry this was a complete pity party read for you. I hope you can relate in some way. We all try to act like we have it all together but lets face it, we all are dealing with awful things that no one knows about. Lets try to be a little more kind and understanding with each other. Who knows? Maybe the mom walking down the street with two screaming toddlers and a glazed look in her eye as she runs her hands through her hair might have “Shitty Shingles” or the Flu or Cancer for that mater. Now it is my goal to try and feel like a “Goddess” while feeling like my health is dwindling at times. Wish me luck! and thanks for reading!
-Namaste Bitches