Before I start I have a few questions for you.

• Ever feel like you want to run away but at the same time never leave? (Basically you contradict yourself at every turn)
• Do your views tend to not mesh with the other women in your community and culture?
• Are you overwhelmed with the possibility that you are messing up your kids psyche for life?
• Do you have a hard time holding onto your identity because you are too busy trying to create a life and identity for your family?
• Ever feel like your days are full of mistakes and you feel like giving up?

If any of these questions make sense to you then welcome my friend! You are free to be you and have fun figuring out this life journey with me!

Below is an explanation of how I got to this point of creating Boho Goddess. My goal is for you to be able to relate and get something out of these meandering posts that I feel are necessary to find some commonality in a time and place where we feel too different, left out, and jaded to belong to our current cultures.

As I lay in the hospital bed my heart beats faster and faster with each contraction. I chose an epidural so the heightened heartbeat is not due to pain but a new worry about raising a child. It’s one thing to prepare for it for 9 months and a completely different thing when you lay there face to face with your first child’s birth. There is no turning back, this is my destiny and before I know it its time to push.

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It is a stressful scary birth but baby boy is healthy and I am ok, just super ‘torn up from the floor up’ (moms, you know what I mean). I lay there exposed to the doctors and nurses in the room; exposed to myself and to my child. My eyes were opened; something needed to change.

I started to reflect back on how I was raised. I grew up in a very religious community. I thought I was a perfectionist who only thought in Black and White and followed all the rules with no questions. Don’t get me wrong, my childhood was a happy one, I just was blissfully ignorant like everyone else around me. As I grew into a teenager on the outside I looked prim, proper, happy, confident, and had a deep understanding of whom I was. But on the inside I was screaming! I felt unworthy because of my struggle to be perfect. I was constantly trying to tame the questioning fire in me that kept asking, “Why do I feel like I’m always faking it?” I would just respond to that voice with, “This is what brings me the most love and acceptance from my friends, family, and community, so stop questioning!!”

I was this way for 27 years. I was this way up until this point when my baby breathed his first breath. My baby didn’t need the contrived, perfect, rule following “me.” My baby needed the contradictory, beautifully flawed, true, me. How could I teach my child to be an individual if I myself have travelled so far away from individuality that I barely knew who I was? How could I teach him to love himself and love others if I didn’t value myself? How could I teach my child to be HUMAN if I myself was afraid to make mistakes or step outside of the norm? I can say that at as I lay there with a new life pressed to my bare breasts, I decided to be different from what I was. I realized Life is a wandering journey, and I’m still at the trailhead of that path.

As I started to ‘Live My Truth’ and do as I wanted I made some mistakes and found myself in dark places. But, despite this, I refused to go back to what I was. I picked myself up, learned from my mistakes and kept truckin’ along. This is when I became an avid yogi, started to study new concepts of ‘being’ and met amazing people.

Once I had my daughter I began to have a desire to understand women’s history so I could teach her where we came from. With my yoga background I naturally fell into the concept of the ‘Goddess With-in’ and the ‘Sacred Feminine’.

My entire life my spiritual teachings were only of God and the male side of things. Whenever I questioned a Goddess or Heavenly Mother I was never given an answer I was satisfied with. Deep down in my heart I have always felt a strong draw to a spiritual femininity that I could never really explain. So I continued to search for more answers; I owed it to my daughter and myself.

As I was doing my research I found the following definition of Goddess, it explains how I felt all along:

“A Goddess is a woman who emerges from deep within herself. She is a woman who has honestly explored her darkness and learned to celebrate her light. She is a woman who is able to fall in love with the magnificent possibilities with-in her. She is a woman who knows of the magic and mysterious places that can nurture her soul and make her whole.”

So basically I am (and you are) a freaking Goddess! I soon grew a desire to constantly nourish my inner goddess and find connections with fellow goddesses. I began to share experiences, gain new experiences, make new friends, and also just lighten up! I soon developed a love for myself that I never had before; especially with my body, stretch marks and all! This blog became a natural progression in my journey.

This blog is for all us Goddesses! As enlightened women we tend to go against the grain in our community/culture with our actions and views. We do things our own way in a time and place when we are expected to follow the norm. I basically say, “No more!” to conforming mindlessly to the norm. We want to be examples of women who stand up for what we believe in no mater what! But at the same time we are not against following our culture if it is part of our life journey.

We embrace that life is constantly contradicting itself. Some days we surprise ourselves with how we can get everything on our lists done and go through our days with strength, dignity and grace. Other days we can be complete jerks, neglect everything and be self absorbed. We are seeking friendship, respect, community, acceptance and above all a place where we can be our own flawed and beautiful selves!

In this blog I plan to address the hard subjects and document my crazy adventures as I give into my questioning spirit and seek for wisdom truth, and hilarity. I may run into some bumps and pot holes along the way but I’m hoping I will be able to gain some awesome experiences and at the very least laugh a lot! I will also share with you what I have found that I love to do and what makes me happy. I hope you are able to gain something from this blog and realize you’re not the disappointment you might think you are at times. You are a strong Boho Goddess! And you are enough!

Now go make some mistakes!

-Namaste and remember to Breathe Deep!

PS: I have to explain the largest mystery of this entire concept of the Boho Goddess Blog. For some reason only men tend to not understand this but, Boho is an informal word for Bohemian!….

If you Google, “Definition of Bohemian” you will find on the top of the page my favorite definition: A person who has informal and unconventional social habits, especially an artist or writer.

Synonyms: non-conformist, free spirit, hippie, unconventional, irregular… (the list goes on and on). Basically if you have ever felt socially awkward, congratulations! You have joined the ranks of the Boho!